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Bob Hope Quotes


The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.