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Fred Allen Quotes


The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.