Jay London Quotes
I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling. I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time. I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger. I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it. I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness. It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless. My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings. My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese. People read me but they don't subscribe. They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults. You know what burns me? Matches.
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