All of a sudden I was living what is perceived to be the model life. It was just full-on, 24 hours a day. It was work all the time. And there's always a party to go to.
All of a sudden to get all of this attention, and to be away from home and working all the time was hard. I was on planes all the time. I didn't see my friends. I cried a lot. It was quite terrifying.
Everyone's projecting onto you, or you feel like everyone is judging you. I feel like I'm being judged a lot of the time. You become really self-conscious.
I had tried to get focused on other things. But I always ended up back in the same place, and it wasn't making me happy. I needed to get the focus back.
I kind of lost interest in school. I was never really that interested anyway. I was never academic. I didn't really go to school as much as I should have.
I started going back and forth, New York, London, New York, London. I wasn't looking back at all. I was doing tons of jobs. Working, working, working, working.
I want to apologize to all of the people I have let down because of my behavior which has reflected badly on my family, friends, co-workers, business associates and others.
I was 14 when I started modeling. At the end of that first day my mum said, If you want to do this, you're on your own because I'm not traipsing around London ever again like that. It's a nightmare.
I was a scapegoat. The media had to put responsibility on somebody, and I was chosen. They felt free to say that because someone was thin they were anorexic, which is ridiculous.
I was amazed at the support that I got when I was in there. And when I came out people knew that I was back on track. I was interested in working again.
I was really nervous, intimidated by the whole thing-all the people and all the buzzing, and all the sitting around waiting. I felt really small in this huge place.
I'd go on the train to castings, changing from my school uniform on the train. I carried on like that for a few years, getting jobs in bits and pieces.
I'll never forget that show season. It was completely mad. I was staying between Christy and Naomi's rooms and it was all limos and the Ritz Hotel and all that kind of business.
