Lionel Blue Quotes
I recovered my infant Judaism, but in a reformist version. I still go to a Christian priory for retreats. I thought of such Christian inventions as the ghetto and the Jewish badge of shame. The Nazis didn't have to go very far to pick up their know-how. I was certainly open for something being on the edge of a nervous breakdown, perplexed by my own sexuality. I was gay. I was not allowed a physical lover. Falling in love with Love was the best I could get. I was not comfortable worshipping another Jew. In speaking of Jesus, I must speak about Christianity because I do not think it possible or profitable to divide the two. It is not possible to unknow what you do know - the result of that is fanaticism. It was admitted by the early rabbis that the sectarians could be as full of good works as eggs were full of meat. It's more fun to watch without joining in. My mother enjoyed old age, and because of her I've begun to enjoy parts of it too. So far I've had it good and am crumbling nicely. My mother was a modern woman with a limited interest in religion. When the sun set and the fast of the Day of Atonement ended, she shot from the synagogue like a rocket to dance the Charleston. Old friends die on you, and they're irreplaceable. You become dependent. On the way to work good-hearted young girls sometimes offer me their seats, which I accept and bless them in return, a transaction satisfying to all concerned. Pious XII was too neutral to mention the gas chambers; decent people like my own family were turned into devils by crude Christianity. Praying privately in churches, I began to discover that heaven was my true home and also that it was here and now, woven into this life. So many plusses, so many minuses. Some of the parables of the Kingdom made wonderful sense, but the exclusivity in the New Testament put me off. Someone gave me a New Testament. I had never before read it systematically. Some parts made sense, some parts shocked me. The Christian use of religion as a personal love affair both shocked me, and attracted me.
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