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Robin Williams Quotes


Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality: What a concept!

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"