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Sam Kinison Quotes

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

In the last couple of years, I guess I've spent six figures on clothes. I figure I spend a lot of time shopping. Eight to ten days a month, I go out and buy. Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm a real clothes whore.

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.