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Religion Quotes


Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.

There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.

There seems to be a terrible misunderstanding on the part of a great many people to the effect that when you cease to believe you may cease to behave.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.

We are punished by our sins, not for them.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said "Let us pray." We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.