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Dane Cook Quotes

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I get so into the moment.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

I'm a late-night guy.

I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.

I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.