H. L. Mencken Quotes
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. Criticism is prejudice made plausible. Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in. Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. Every man is his own hell. Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
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