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After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

Joe Rogan

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.

Joe Rogan

Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

Joe Rogan

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.

Joe Rogan

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

Joe Rogan

Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken.

Joe Rogan

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

Joe Rogan

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.

Joe Rogan

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.

Joe Rogan

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

Joe Rogan

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

Joe Rogan

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

Joe Rogan

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.

Joe Rogan

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.

Joe Rogan

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.

Joe Rogan

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

Joe Rogan

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.

Joe Rogan

It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.

Joe Rogan

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.

Joe Rogan

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.

Joe Rogan