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Kinky Friedman Quotes


May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

We were a country band with a social conscience.

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.