But, clearly to me, what I've come to see is that that happened because I didn't have enough feelings of self-worth. So that I didn't feel that... I was worthy of being number one to a man.
He ended it. He just said he didn't - he - well, what he said was that he didn't feel it was right, and you know, I mean that's - because he ended it, he'd probably have to be the one to answer that.
I certainly know that this relationship could not have continued the way it did, when I was at the Pentagon and the president was obviously at the White House, without Betty.
I chose to not wear a wire and tape people. I chose to not get immunity until - were accepted, whatever - until the independent counsel's office was comfortable with what I said was the truth.
I did though at least expect him to correct the false statements he made when he was trying to protect the Presidency. Instead, he talked about it as though I had laid it all out there for the taking. I was the buffet and he just couldn't resist the dessert.
I mean, I felt terrible. And in the beginning, I mean, I was completely devastated. I mean, can you imagine the kind of guilt that you would feel, and the responsibility?
I mean, there was a portion, of course, that I think, when I look back now, that there was a portion of what attracted me must have been the awe of him being a powerful man in this environment, not to take away from who he is as a real person.
I was worried about my mom more than I was worried about the president. And then I was worried about the president, and then I was worried about myself.
I'm an incredibly lucky girl. For someone who has made some very foolish mistakes and had some tough lessons to learn very quickly, I am still incredibly lucky.