Ogden Nash Quotes
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence. Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs. Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them. The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk. The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends. There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. Too clever is dumb.
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