Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't. I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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