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Stephen Leacock Quotes

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.