Search quotes by author:    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 

W. C. Fields Quotes

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I drink therefore I am.

I like children - fried.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.