Wilson Mizner Quotes
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
The first hundred years are the hardest.
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.
You sparkle with larceny.
