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Marriage Quotes

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.