H. L. Mencken Quotes
A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
All government, of course, is against liberty.
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.