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Kinky Friedman Quotes

A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.