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Ogden Nash Quotes

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.