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Wilson Mizner Quotes

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Art is science made clear.

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Failure has gone to his head.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

God help those who do not help themselves.

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.