Woody Allen Quotes
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
