Woody Allen Quotes
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Marriage is the death of hope.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
