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Funny Quotes


Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

You're only as good as your last haircut.